As I get older, I find myself re-evaluating what I understood of relationships. I’m learning that we may desire a certain type of friendship, sometimes you’re fire together, sometimes it’s unrequited, and sometimes you’re just not a good fit. And that’s okay. Not every relationship you have has to be the Bonnie & Clyde, Sean & Cory, Liz & Maria, BFF friendship we often see in Hollywood. Some people you’re happy to see in the break room at work but you don’t hang out outside of work, and that’s still a good friendship.
You I can’t expect that if I’m friends with someone it means I have to give all of myself and be “best” friends with everyone (whatever that means). Not everyone expects that from me. Not everyone even wants that from me. That realization alone was fucking freeing, let me tell you, and these last few years I’ve spent trying to evaluate my needs, desires, and expectations on others in my life. I’ve started approaching friendships like dating. I’ve had friendships I want to be deeper than surface level and friendships I’ve been perfectly content leaving where they are. (And even some I’ve let go.)
I’ve only known Mirggles for three years. (Say what?) I find that incredibly unbelievable, it feels like we’ve been friends since we were little girls. I have, on numerous occasions, felt upset that we didn’t get the opportunity to grow up together, because I feel life would have been a lot easier. (Or maybe not, I was a shit growing up.) Just the other day I discovered we both had an obsession with Harriet the Spy. We wore rain coats and binoculars and spied on our neighbors. (We were so weird. We would have gotten into so much trouble.) She’s been a blessing of a friend for me, and I find myself with extremely high expectations now for close relationships because of her (and Mr. B, of course, who is so much more than an after thought attached to a sentence but would take a whole novel all his own).
A few months ago, I arranged for a board game day so she could meet two other people who have recently come into my life in a very big way. Plumeria and Staticg (whom I met through work), have recently become really good friends. Plumeria and I meet once a week and deep dive over coffee & tea and she is the one who brought me to Hawaii and shared that life changing experience with me, and our souls just match in the same way that Mirgs and mine do. I can’t believe I’m lucky enough to find these two ladies on my journey on planet Earth. But I wanted them to meet, even though I know they were both petrified to meet the other person because that’s how humans are. (Omg, this person means so much to ____, what if they hate me? Or worse, what if I hate them?!) You know how it is. But it went really well, and we spent about six to seven hours just playing board games at Snakes & Lattes (a board game cafe).
#10-15 by Mirggles
#16 by Mr. B
Music by The Paper Kites – “Bloom”